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Reading this forum I can barely see to type I am crying so hard. I only knew of this a week ago. I knew he had a drug problems in the past and his life had been going to hell but when he would become psychotic and we would take him to the ER he was clear of drugs. We thought it was exclusively mental iillness.
He has had car wrecks, blackouts, seizures, jail, psychiatric hospitals, nothing seemed to have a lasting effect on his behavior.
He came to my house last week and pulled a can out of his backpack, and started "huffing" I took it from him. He was incoherent for a while then I tried to talk to him. He said he had a problem and wouldn't do it again. He went on a vacation with my Mom, sister and niece. This was a few days ago. He walked over to the store from the hotel and came back psychotic. Scared my Mom, niece and sister to death. They brought him back to town and he insisted on being dropped him off at the grocery store. I realized why he had ask to be dropped there so my husband immediately went to his house and he was huffing. He took the can, tried to talk to him then came back home. We live only blocks from him. I was angry with my brother and told him to not come here until he was ready to go into treatment that i had set up while my family was driving back to town with him. But about 1/2 hour (3AM) ago after reading this forum I ask my husband to go get him. He is here and being rude, saying it isn't a problem, his cheeks are swollen, his eyes glassy, lips bluish. He just keeps yelling at me. My husband is in the living room right now trying to talk to him. I have a rehab that will take him but he won't go.
I have never felt so lost. My former husband committed suicide 2 years ago. I just remarried and have tried to move on. I don't know if I can make it through this. No one will help me. My mother and father are as lost as me. If I wouldn't have sent my husband to get him at 3am he would probably be dead. (This is an edit upon reflection 5 hours later) My husband went back over to his house after we got him to sleep here at our home. His room is covered in puck, my husband got all the cans out, when he returned i got a headache just from the smell of him being in my brother's house. Also I hugged my brother and the chemical smell was sickening. But the saddest part is he is an affectionate loving brother, but he wouldn't even put his arms around me. Just stayed stiff as I cried and hugged him. It as if he is the walking dead. He is 36, I am the oldest sister. He is sleeping but I am afraid to sleep. Afraid he will leave and go get more duster. I believe tonight was a suicide attempt after ruining my niece's, moms, and sisters vacation that they so graciously took him on and paid for. I guess I am not really expecting a response but just need to get this out. Let others know when they do this they aren't who they once were, they are cold, and cruel, and it hurts the people they love more than they could ever understand. I think that guilt often is why people continue to abuse drugs. BUT this isn't a drug, this is a chemical poison. Even heroin is a "drug" with some medicinal value. This is a poison, no different than inhaling some rat poison. It has absolutely no therapeutic or medicinal value whatsoever.
I also blame the drug war. So many people don't want to get caught with weed or alcohol due to jobs or probation so they go for these "legal" highs,( the truely horrible drugs like meth are out of your system in no time) Legal highs like spice, bath salts, duster or research chemical are being used instead. Prohibition didn't work with alcohol and it doesn't work with other substances. Parents need to relate to their children the honest dangers and differences of illicit drugs (which I don't condone the use of) and poison. Lumping weed, alcohol, mushrooms, in with a huffing a neural toxin is not helping the situation. Forgive my rambling and anger. I love my brother and don't want to lose him to death or the walking death I saw tonight. I am going to every place in this small town today with a photo of my brother. I am going to tell the manager's and clerk's that my brother has a problem and not to sell him air duster. I don't know if it will help but I am desperate to try to save him.
I am so lost. __________________ Please message me if you can lend an ear or I can lend mine.
There aren't that many genuinely evil people in this world, evil is rampant because good people stand by and do nothing.