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scorpiosmom11

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Posts: 19
Reply with quote  #1 
I have questions for those of you who used to do duster. What made you quit, how long have you quit for and was it difficult.  The reason I ask is because I'm a mom and my daughter has done it to the point that it got really bad. She wonders how she's still around. She knows she needs to stop, it's ruined alot already for her, and is going into an outpatient counseling program.  She has said she had to quit before, went a week or two, they sneaked and lied and went back to it. This past time she was caught in the backseat of her car, unresponsive, and someone reported her. Ambulance came, police showed up, took her to the hospital, she came home, had pains in her kidneys and throwing up once again, went back to the hospital, and said that's it! But I've heard it before, get my hopes up, let my defenses down and she once more disappoints us.
Anyonehere

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #2 
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm in a similar situation as your daughter. It's been 3 years I've been using and its unbelievably hard to quit. As you mentioned, i can get to a week sometimes.. But thats a challenge. I know most people on here went to inpatient treatment, but i won't do that. I can't have my family find out and i dont have the option to miss work. I see a therapist but that doesn't help. Most doctors and therapists have very little experience with inhalants. The only thing i can say helps me is that i need to be around someone. I won't do it if someone is there.. And i only do it in the evenings when I'm alone. So, i stayed at my moms house for a few days.. or tried to hang out at my sister's house until rite aid closed and i wasn't able to buy any. I am also very dependant on it for sleep (Or the version of sleep you get while using). It's a constant cycle of huffing and passing out- but it counts as sleep i suppose. I found that i can't sleep otherwise and the craving is unbearable when you're laying there awake. So, i had my doctor prescribe me some sleeping pills, which are helping alot- that way i can take them early, pass out asleep, and not need a can.
Your daughter is so, so fortunate that you know about her addiction and are there to help her. If i was as fortunate, i think it would be a little easier to quit, but i must admit, this stuff is insanely overpowering, so be understanding and patient but make sure she is on this site reading the stories about all the people who die huffing. Its easy to give yourself a false sense of security and think it can't happen to you, but i come here and read these heartbreaking stories from family members of those who have passed... leaving children, sisters, parents, and friends crushed and mourning their loss... And i use it as a wake up call because that could be me any night.
My best advice is talk to her, show her this site and these stories, let her know there are people here she can reach out to (she can reach out to me anytime), try to be with her during her worst hours to help get through the cravings, consider sleeping pills if she is using to help her sleep, and get het iron levels checked. A common thread in many, many stories is that users are anemic and low iron (I'm both).. ive read where some people have infusions and once their levels were normal, they had no craving to huff anymore and i believe that. There's a similar thing when women are pregnant called Pica where they crave strange smells like dirt, chemicals, etc they think it's because of their iron levels being low due to being pregnant. I'm no doctor, but i think there's a similar connection here and it's worth checking into. Let me know if there's anything i can do, any questions, etc.
And God help all of us.
scorpiosmom11

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Posts: 19
Reply with quote  #3 
Hi Anyonehere,
I have read many posts on here to my daughter and she's read some herself.  You mentioned you cant go into an inpatient program because you can't have your family find out and you're afraid of missing work. I totally understand that. But at the same time, if your family found out, god forbid something happened to you and you needed medical help, think of what kind of shock that would be to everyone.  If you can't do an inpatient program, due to family and work, could you possibly enroll yourself into an outpatient group?  Maybe that would be better than a therapist. Even say you're taking some classes at a school or something...or gym classes...anything to explain the time you're out of the house.  I also understand the not allowing yourself to be alone. There are many ways to stay away from the stuff.  The tactics you've been doing sounds great, so that's a start.  The not being able to sleep is rough.  My daughter does have a prescription for Trazodone if she's having a hard time falling asleep. It's a prescription she's had for some time now, but only uses it now and then.  She put herself on probiotics and vitamins with high levels of Iron.  While she was doing duster, it also made her feel very weak and tired. Now she's feeling so much better, but I'm still waiting for the next shoe to drop.  Praying it doesn't.  Her last episode of being found unresponsive, brought to the hospital by police and ambulance scared her.  I just pray alot. It's all on her, and I'll do what I can to help her in her efforts, but it's really all on her. Those who want to quit will do all they can. I hope she is.
scorpiosmom11

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Posts: 19
Reply with quote  #4 
There isn't much interaction on this forum [frown]  People are looking for answers and support. Where is everyone??????
Anyonehere

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #5 
Im still here! How's your daughter doing?
scorpiosmom11

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Posts: 19
Reply with quote  #6 
She's struggling. Fighting the mind with the battle between good and evil. She gets down then wants to do duster. I suspected she did it....told me she was going out to eat with a friend. I just had a feeling she didn't and was lying, so I sent the friend a message...sure enough they didnt go out to dinner. my daughter spent 4 hrs in the back seat of her car with duster. When she came home I confronted her and she said yes.  She's back in counseling now and signed paperwork that allows the counselor to speak with me. She wants everything out on the table, and told the counselor everything as well.  But it's a thing of truth...not lying to herself first, and then not lying to us.  I pray she gets it right [frown]
Anyonehere

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #7 
Its tough. Ive had a bad few days and i was doing really well before this. It's crazy how much emotions play into this addiction. When I'm happy and motivated, i feel strong and don't even think about huffing but as soon as i get sad or down, i run for my band-aid. I need to find something else to serve as my band aid though- one that won't kill me one night. Ive gotten so scared that ive written notes to my family - in case i die before i wake- and i have them on my bed. I dread the day they would ever have to find them, but i still want to tell them i love them and ask them to forgive me.
scorpiosmom11

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Posts: 19
Reply with quote  #8 
Thank you Anyonehere for being the ONLYone here I can chat with.  Yes, same with my daughter...when she's happy and has things to do, plans made, friends around shes fine. Once she's lonely, sad about a guy or upset about anything not going right, she thinks of her OUT. To her, it puts her to sleep so she doesn't have to think. Her counselor says you're not going to sleep, you're passing out. Losing consciousness , so she said don't think of it as going to sleep!!!!!   I feel for you. I wish you could get into a program and tell your family you're doing something else to cover for the time away.  You seem like you want to stop so bad, but struggling like my daughter.  I wanted to add that in speaking with my daughter's counselor, we discussed the purchase of this stuff. She said nobody buys this 5-10 or more cans at a time. Stores should be aware. I feel like writing to the corporate offices and saying what is going on and that they need to be aware of the sale....no matter what the age. ONE can is more than enough for anyone wanting to use it in the correct capacity.  My daughter said she bought 16 cans once.  The awareness needs to be widespread, just like it is for synthetic marijuana or bath salts

Anyonehere

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #9 
I am... the most frustrating part is that ive never been addicted to anything in my life (except maybe sweets 😆). Ive never smoked, done hard drugs.. nothing. Im not super fit or anything, but I'm self sufficient and usually very- determined. I think i keep being amazed that i can't just stop on my own, by myself. If i had issues with addiction before or drinking, it would be different, but i just keep thinking i should be able to control this... it's disappointing when you're making headway and then fall off the wagon again, but it's even more disappointing every time you have to start admitting that you can't do it alone. Ive been fighting joining a program because i keep thinking i just need one good time where i am going to commit to stopping cold Turkey and just stick with it- but that hasn't happened, so maybe i do need to look into programs. 🤔
scorpiosmom11

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Posts: 19
Reply with quote  #10 
I'm grateful for someone to speak with about this.  My daughter just before told me that I always tell her the bad stuff with duster, all of which she is aware of already. She said she wants to hear about the success stories. those who have quit, how they quit, how they maintained their sobriety.  I asked her if she would like to email with some members here, and she said yes...to know and talk to others in the same situation. I wrote to Anonnona  who posts on here, but didn't hear back yet.  He writes so nicely about being off it, and how he copes.  My daughter is really interested in communicating with others to hopefully help them and herself at the same time.  As far as YOU trying to do it cold turkey, my daughter felt the same way. She thought for sure she could...but as things get her down, duster is the first thing that comes to mind. As I said earlier, she just got back into a group counseling and one-on-one. She's laying it all out there. Maybe that will help.  Half this battle is admitting you're powerless over the addiction. POWERLESS. Don't fight joining a group. DO IT PLEASE.  I'd love to see you getting the help you want and need.  And again, thanks for being here to talk to.  I can't make my daughter quit. She's got to do it herself and I'll be right there for her.  I wish you have someone to confide in yourself.  I'm really praying for you.


Anyonehere

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #11 
Well, i laid it all on the line last night myself. Ive started dating someone and although its only been just shy of 2 months, he's amazing- perfect for me- and I'm crazy about him. I told him all about this addiction last night and cried like a baby. I told him that what i need is something worth stopping for- something i care for too much to lose. So, I'm telling myself that if i use cans again, I'll lose him- and i mean it. He knows and will be there to help me, but i think this is the only way I'll be able to quit. Fingers crossed, let's see how this week goes..
scorpiosmom11

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Posts: 19
Reply with quote  #12 
that is such great news. you were brave to tell him, but you must feel confident of his feelings for you. my daughter said she wouldnt ever tell a guy unless she was 100% sure of his commitment and hopefully she would have long been done with the stuff.  I'm happy for you and maybe now that he's aware, you will finally have that extra push to stop completely. He will be watching and supporting your efforts.  AGAIN, soooooo happy for you!
Anyonehere

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #13 
Your daughter is right and i normally would never have told someone unless, as your daughter said, i was telling them in past tense after i had quit... but, as crazy as it sounds, i feel like this guy is "the one" and i didn't want to hide anything from him. Also, I'm not through the woods by any means, so i need the support and i wanted him to understand why i need to be out of my house when he's not over- or I'll likely not be strong enough to resist.
But, it's definitely early, so we'll see what happens- but i appreciate your enthusiasm 😆
Also- in regards to your daughter, i know you mentioned that she went and spent hours huffing in her car... i hope she changes that habit. Ive done it many, many times - i would even start after work at one point, huff all night, (not even drive home) and then just change my clothes and go back into work in the morning. The scary thing is that anyone could have seen me and called the cops or medics thinking i was dead.. someone could have gotten in my car if the doors weren't all locked, etc. I actually crashed my car this way once... i was in a parking lot, not planning to drive but i guess i woke up and decided i was leaving and then passed out again - and crashed right into a pole. I only remember someone waking me up after the crash- i don't remember ever waking up to drive.. but, it's definitely dangerous having a car accessible because you'll make bad decisions when you're huffing. I hope she stays safe
scorpiosmom11

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Posts: 19
Reply with quote  #14 
Feeling confident of the man you're with and trusting him enough with your deepest, darkest secrets is important. I am happy to know he supports you and wants to help. I'm thinking he may have thought about it, pondered it a bit and said "hmmmm, odd. Just because it's not heard about or talked about much in relation to getting high with drugs.  The parking lot episodes are really bad. Twice that I know of people called the cops on her being unresponsive in the back seat. If you're in the front, you can be given a DUI, even if the key isn't in the ignition. The fact that you're in the front can show intent to drive.  Twice she was taken to the hospital by ambulance. Her probation officer was advised once, and the other time she told him about it on her own. The police after the 2nd time said they wouldn't tell him, but she felt that if she wanted to maintain his trust, she would tell him, so she did.  He's a good man and told her if she ever wanted to talk...anytime, just call him. He's heard lots of crazy stuff. Nothing will shock him. 
Anyonehere

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #15 
Oh wow... sounds like you've raised a good girl then because I'll admit that i wouldn't have volunteered any info to a probation officer 😆 but that's awesome that she did. And that's great that he has made himself available for her to call- it sounds like she has alot of people available to support her. ❤ And i can't believe you can get a DUI in the front seat! Man... i lucked out so many times 😔
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