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Inhalant Abuse Prevention
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butterflies23

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Posts: 1
Reply with quote  #1 
I started huffing about 3 years ago. I started in seventh grade. I huffed shoe polish or cleaner. Then I went to White Out, markers, Nail Polish, Nail Polish Remover, & that's all I basically do. I dunno how I actually started huffing. I think I started when I sprayed the shoe polish on my shoe & I loved the smell of it. & i think ever since then i loved the way it made me feel.

I reunited with my cousin on September 9, 2009 & i showed her how to huff only because she showed me marijuana. So i felt i owed her. I actually got her addicted to it too. Me & her did it together when we were at her house. It was a quick high & it felt great. She even brang it to school & left it in her locker. We felt in a whole new world. But then she got caught cause she was using my phone to text her friend & her mom caught her then her mom read the text messages & my cousin was explaining to her friend how to huff. I acted like I had no idea what my cousin was doing when i felt really guilty because i showed her.

I got caught last year in 8th grade huffing in my room next to my sister while she was sleeping. I thought my mom was asleep so i decided to do it real quick. So i sprayed it on a rolled up sock but i usually spray it on the sleeve of my sweaters. My mom went in my room to turn the TV off & I threw the sock on the side of my bed & my mom asked what that was & i kept responding nothing, nothing. I finally gave it to her & she went crazy on me. But i was to high to cry or anything. I had no emotions at the time. & Then she asked me who taught me & my quick response was my cousin. But i lied. So she would back off a little. That whole week for me was HELL , me & my cousin went to the same school at the time & we planned out our whole story. Who did what & all that stuff. & it was all my fault. My mom had sat me down with my dad & she asked how many times i have done this. I lied & said at least 5. She asked me if i was addicted & needed help i lied again & said no. I had lost all my moms trust that year. I messed up really bad. I couldn't be home alone & i had to be watched when i used sharpies. Last year was the worst year for me ever.

I gained my mom's trust back & i got all my privileges back but I'm still huffing & i know for a fact I'm addicted to it.  I'm trying to stop but nothing is helping me because when i know i must huff is when i start to taste the shoe polish in my mouth or when i smell it. My mom tried hiding it from me but i found it which isn't good. Because now that i know its there i huff it when necessary. i have these voices in head to. & its really annoying. its like when i wanna do something bad they argue back & forth then i end up listening to the bad. I feel so bad cause my mom trust me but I'm still huffing. I know i need help. But i don't wanna tell my mom i want to do this on my own. I know its better if i have support from my loved ones but i cant hurt them again. At least not this bad again. I'm doing good in school & everything seems okay so my mom doesn't suspect a thing. but i fear one day my mom might catch me huffing again or worse me laying on the floor & her not knowing how i died because she thinks i stopped but in reality i didn't. 

I really need help can you help me? Or at least talk me through my addiction? I wanna get clean but i don't think i have the will power to do so.
janesmith

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Posts: 581
Reply with quote  #2 

butterflies23 - Bless you for posting your story and reaching out for help.  Please realize that addiction is NOT about willpower, but most field experts believe that it is a disease just as someone who has asthma and must take their medication and do as their doctor (and or licensed counselor) advises.  Please do not worry about hurting your parents or other family members since they, your parents in particular, want you to be well and happy.  They will be very hurt if they do find you dead on the floor and then having to plan your funeral where you will be buried 6 feet underneath the ground.  Perhaps instead they will need to visit you in a physical rehabilitation hospital for those with Brain Trauma from huffing as with my friend who has a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) from inhalant use at age 12, now in her 30s.  Therefore, if it imperative that you get outside professional help such as from a licensed counselor or social worker and not feel as though you must deal with your apparent inhalant addiction by yourself.  It seems as though you have tried to stop yourself, but just as most other people with addiction, getting professional help is necessary so that you may deal with what may have led you to want to self-medicate in the first place.

Those who try to stop using drugs or alcohol without having received professional counseling are said to be a "dry drunk" which is someone who still lives his or her life as though he or she has an addiction but just doesn't use the substance.  He or she may also get a cross addiction or using a different substance to try to self-medicate.  Professional help by a licensed counselor can help one to not relapse and learn to deal with everday emotions in a more positive way.

Please, I beg of you, to TELL with your mom or dad about your continued use of inhalants.  Perhaps you can write them a letter saying that you "don't want to hurt them but that you feel as though you may need outside help" to stop engaging in such a destructive, deadly behavior.  They will be much happier to get you counseling than live with the guilt of finding you on the floor (a medical examiner can do an autopsy and find out that the person has died from inhalants) or in a brain injury rehab.

Please also consider talking with your guidance counselor on the next school day.

You may show this site to your parents which has counseling facilities for those with a substance abuse problem (and some have state and/or county financial assistant for those without health insurance):  http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/ and can click one's state of residence on the map and then continue with the search.
abc123456

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Posts: 39
Reply with quote  #3 
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