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I have been dealing with a loved one with a huffing addiction as well and your right this is so far feom just being a teenage thing it's not even funny. I have never seen an addiction to something that has this much power over someone. I'm lucky tho, my person is sitting in county and going to be sent to prison then in a year or two when he gets out he will have a few years of strict probation. I honestly feel he cannot quit by himself, I know this is the only thing saving his life right now.
In his mind he has told us all there is nothing wrong with huffing duster that it doesn't do anything to you and it won't kill you either. It doesn't matter what any of us say, he'll the can days it can cause death but he just doesn't care. He also is like your husband, he keeps everything to himself.
I do know this, they have to want to stop in order to even attempt to, and if they can't admit the first step in addiction that they have a problem then nothing will ever change. I feel so much heartache for anyone that is going through this or has. I told my person I'd rather see him every day through a screen then have him free killing himself one huff at a time.