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justcantquit

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Reply with quote  #1 

hello everyone, im so happy i found this site. i actually cried last night when i was reading and couldnt wait to get up and talk today! i have been huffing since i was 13, it first started with spray paint and ive only done that twice. occasionally i would inhale paint thinner. or markers. Now, i have been overwhelming addicted to rubbing alcohol. i swore that i was the only crazy person in the world addicted to something like this. I wake up at 5 am everyday with a bottle to my nose. i deeply inhale the 91% (70% wasnt enough for me anymore) it makes it hard for me to leave the house, im always late to work. i have actually gone back in the house to sniff and had to make myself leave. there is a ritual to it though. i have to inhale about 10-15 times or until it feels the best. then put the cap on, shake it up and do it again. i sit in my bed indian style with a bottle and a cup of ice. (the ice soothes the burning in the back of my throat) i keep a bottle at work in the cabinet in the bathroom. and a bottle at my desk that i use to soak paper towels with before i leave so that i have something for the ride home. i go to my sisters house and sniff hers, i go to my boyfriends house and use his. ive convinced myself that there are different ways to hold the bottle to get the deepest inhale and the best effect. i almost feel like im crazy! im a very attractive women, with great friends and family and a fabulous social life. none of my friends know this about me. i jokingly told them i used to drink the stuff as a kid and they didnt find it funny, so how do i tell them the truth? i want my boyfriend to know so he can help me, but im afraid he will think i have issues and wont want to be with me anymore. its just so difficult. its 9:45am and ive had 8 huffing sessions already this morning. i just needed to let all of that out, thanks for listening. at least i know im not alone...

QueshiaB

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Reply with quote  #2 
justcantquit- Thanks for your post. Glad to see you realize it's a problem and you do want help.
 
Whether it's your boyfriend, a friend and/or family member you need to tell someone the truth about your problem.  If they really love and care about you they won't think you "have issues", but will stick around for moral support and see that you get the necessary help.
 
When you made the joke about drinking alcohol, they probably didn't think it was funny because they care. As it should be your friends want the best for you and don't want you endangering yourself in any way. You should want the best for yourself too...
 
I appreciate you using this message board as a means to get that off your chest, but think how relieved you'll feel after confiding in someone you know. Think about it and keep us posted.

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justcantquit

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Reply with quote  #3 

I know, i know.... i appreciate you responding soooo much. more than you know. I have been wanting to tell someone for a long time. i have such a standard to uphold though. i am "that girl" to alot of people. and im so afraid to lose that image of having it all together. but there are times where i cant even breathe bc of the deep inhaling. i think i need to be more afraid of what im doing to myself. this site will save alot of lives bc until now i didnt know the horrible effects of it, i only knew that it produced gastric disturbances. i want to stop. i truly do. but i know i need to talk to my friends. again i apprecite  your response so quickly.

QueshiaB

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Reply with quote  #4 
Nobody is perfect.  We're human, so naturally everyone overcomes hardships at some point in their lives, makes them a better/stronger person. 
 
If you talk with your friends and others find out you won't be the squeaky-clean it girl you once were, but you'll still be you!  Plus you never know, by you not "having it all together" you may seem more real, and people may respect you more for coming clean about a problem and working to get better.
 
Regardless of what people think, you hit on the most important issue: what you're doing to your body.  People will judge what's on the outside and their perception of you, but is that really worth what you're doing to your insides?

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justme

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Reply with quote  #5 
hi justcantquit

i can sympathize with your addiction. i just recently started to crave strong smells, my favorite being rubbing alcohol. we use it at work, so it is readily available to me. we also use dry erase board markers that i like...

so far i have not used any of these to "get high". i just like the smell of them... but i am concerned that i may become addicted to them... i started to find myself thinking of reasons to use the dry erase board... or clean something with the rubbing alcohol...

i am hoping that this site will help me to steer clear of that addictive kind of thought process...

and i hope that you can find some help as well

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justcantquit

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Reply with quote  #6 
hey justme,

thanks for responding. the website is extremely helpful. especially so that we dont feel alone. however, i have a new issue now. from reading the different posts, I have become curious. I found myself going home last night and searching for Pine Sol to see how it smelled. I couldnt find any so I planned to go to the store. I went to the store and completely forgot about it. I ended up going back to a local store and getting a bottle and sniffing it. it smells really good! but it gave me such a headache. I woke up this morning and decided to throw it out when I get home from work later. I do not need any more addictions.

I have always loved the smell of rubbing alcohol. I think its the overwhelming part, or the strong scent. I keep a bottle in my room, in both of my bathrooms, in the cabinet at work, and i keep some in a hand sanitizer bottle for when im driving. TRUST ME, you do not want to get like that. It becomes a ritual, I get home at 3:30 and by 3:35 im sitting in my room with a bottle and a cup of ice. I can do that about 10-15 times a day, easy. Even when im in the shower I huff. or if I have to take a long trip, i drive with a bottle in the passenger seat lol huffing as the cars pass by so that no one sees. (its sad)  

So if your thinking your getting addicted. stop now. Its not worth it. talk to someone, I just told someone the other night and it was very hard but he understands and is going to try to help me. occupy your time, thats what is helping me. I go to the gym when the crave is too strong. if it isnt strong i can just ignore it. when im with my girls at the  beach or the mall, i think about it. but i cherish the time with my friends and family more than that quick rush.

but anyways. always here to talk thanks for responding and ill help in any way i can.
QueshiaB

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Reply with quote  #7 
justcantquit- Thanks or posting. Glad to hear you aren't picking up any more addictions.
 
Also, great advice!  We always try to tell abusers to speak out and talk to someone close to them they trust, but many do not know how.  How did you break the news to the person you confided in? In sharing how you did it, I'm hoping to inspire some other who may be too scared to tel someone about their problem.

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VercingetorixXIII

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Reply with quote  #8 

This is so sad, you make me cry. I have a child who is doing inhalants, he is 13 yrs old. I show him this stuff and he says mom, Im sorry I will stop, I am glad he admitted it and opened up to me but I dont believe him, if my child dies doing this, it will kill me seriously, I am not trying to be judgmental here but do you guys ever stop to think about the pain you will bring your parents if you die? They will never be the same again, for the rest of their lives they will live thinking it was something they did, something they could have done to stop it... please stop, sniffing this crap affects more than you..

Jarods_fiancee

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Posts: 149
Reply with quote  #9 
VercingetorixXIII -

Thank you for your post! I don't think anyone who is any kind of addict stops and thinks about what effects their using has on the people they love/that love them. I'm very glad you said what you did. I lost my fiance' back in June to computer duster and life will never be the same. His parents lost their only child. He died a day before his college graduation. It truly is a waste...and we are all left wondering what we could have done. I live with the worst guilt I've ever known because we were together almost all the time and I had NO CLUE Jarod was doing something like this. I didn't even know people did it! He was only 26 years old. I really truly don't think he ever thought that stuff could kill him or what me or his parents/family/friends would be left with if he died. That stuff doesn't cross their minds when they are trying to get high.

I'm glad to see you shared this site with your son and he admitted to having a problem and wants to stop. Whether you believe him or not, you need to support him and be sure he gets the professional help he needs to get clean and stay that way. I wish you the best of luck and please keep us posted on your son's progress.

Kim
justcantquit

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Reply with quote  #10 
VercingetorixXIII -
 
 
i have absolutely stopped and thought about what this could do to my family. Im just that kind of person that thinks about all of my actions and the way it affects other. However, it's an addiction, not just a habit. So my natural tendancy to be selfish as a human being kicks in and I feed that addiction. Also, ive never heard of anyone dying from rubbing alcohol. im not saying it couldnt happen, just never heard of it.
 
im glad that your son is comfortable enough to speak to you about this. maybe if i had that same kind of help i wouldnt be here today. the only thing I do is sniff rubbing alcohol, im not interested in computer dust or hairspray or anything like that. I dont do it to get high. I just really like the smell of rubbing alcohol, i would never want to get high from it, or any other inhalant.
 
im happy to say that I went the whole day yesterday and only briefly sniffed one time. and only 1 time today, (its only 10:36 am though) but still, coming from where I was at one point, it is a big difference. anyways, everyone enjoy their day
QueshiaB

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Reply with quote  #11 

VercingetorixXIII- Thank you for posting.  Very glad to hear your son realized his problem and has stopped.


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fifty57seven

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Posts: 12
Reply with quote  #12 
justcantquit how have you been these past few days?
 
i'm happy to say that today (May 3, 2009) i've been clean for 2 weeks. i mean i've been having the urges to get high, but i'm not giving in to them. its really not easy but i'm trying... and i think thats all that matters. and i hope you are trying to stop yourself

justcantquit

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Posts: 39
Reply with quote  #13 
hey fifty57seven,

Ive been doing okay. I only huff occasionally and my time has been occupied by this wonderful man I just met so ive been pretty happy lately and more focused on him rather than inhaling anything. im glad to hear that your doing well, 2 weeks is a greattttt accomplishment. Congratulations!
beckbeck

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Reply with quote  #14 

I have been sniffing rubbing alcohol for 10 years and I know what will fix me in about 2 days. Iron pills. I have low iron and if I take iron pills for about two days I get better fast, and yes I smell other things like pine sol and pens. one time I was at a store and I just needed one sniff. I opened the alcohol and put my nose up to it. I was so excited I squeezed the bottle and it went up my nose and down my throat. I was scared but sniffed the next day. I also crave ice about 10 to fifteen tall cups a day, and when my iron is right so am I. I don't even crave it at all and never think about it after about two days or so. when I am on my period I am worse. I know right when my blood level is low. I start thinking of something to smell. I also take reg vitamins with the iron. it has save my life and I hope it will help someone.

tds

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Reply with quote  #15 
I can 100 percent backup what beckbeck has said about iron. I too have noticed a difference of night and day in relation to my cravings and if I've been taking my iron supplements. Ever since I made the connection and took it seriously, I've been able to manage my addiction. I haven't chewed styrofoam (to get the chemically smell/taste) in nearly 3mos. And I've never been able to abstain that long in over 10 years. I kept researching and researching and couldn't deny the relationship many women seem to have btw low iron and the desire to smell certain things: ammonia, rubbing alcohol, pine sol. Etc... These women are rarely seeking to "get high" its often merely a pesky side effect of our bodies attempt to (wrongly) right its mineral balance. However the addiction can still be all too real. I spent many years wondering why I was sooooo weird to do such a thing. I don't mean absent mindedly chewing a styrofoam coffee cup. I would delight in working through the thick packaging of say, a vcr or stereo. Chew it up to my hearts content getting that "fume-y" feeling akin to car exhaust. all the while hiding this behavior from fam and friends. I've now been able to break this destructive behavior with the aid of iron pills. The vegetable based ones eliminate the constipation that often deters some. In snapped me out of it long enough to see the very real connection. I did finally work up the courage to speak to my dr about it all and she confirmed that low iron does in fact cause cravings for all kinds of non-food things. It can be called pica even if you don't actually eat the items. This has helped me tremendously and my only regret is that I didn't bring it up years ago!! She didn't get shocked or judgemental. She just listened and we discussed what could be done to help me. Namely continuing to take the iron and that should help manage my cravings.
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