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Inhalant Abuse Prevention
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lolfreddy

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Posts: 8
Reply with quote  #1 
I'm a 20 year old male and I happen to work in one of the permanent marker factories. I will not say which one because I have stolen many from the company for my own personal "use".

I started inhaling the fumes about 7 months ago an I am totally addicted. I break the marker open and take the felt cartridge and place it inside of a plastic bag, I love to inhale an exhale the fumes until I reach that "high" that I crave. At times one marker isnt enough, it feels that i have built a tolerance and I can do about 5 at a time and thats how much it takes now to efficiently get that "High" feeling.

I need help, I want to quit, I'm afraid to talk to anyone about this because I am indeed stealing and thats a crime itself. I have not spoken to any of my friends or family members about this addiction because I am scared of what they might think of me so I have resorted to use the internet where I can stay more anonymous.

In my house I have many boxes STACKED high, I love seeing the little logo because it makes me very happy. I'm so scared of being caught that I take all the broken down permanent markers and I bury them in my backyard.

I have blacked out many times and when I wake up I am scared and disoriented... I want to stop but it feels so good... today is my first day NOT doing it and I'm beginning to regret thinking about stopping. I'm really antsy and I am having a really hard time typing.

Please Help me, talk to me and tell me how I can get my mind off of these little death sticks that I am forced to work with...

MARKERS (It's so pretty........)
tryingtostop

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Posts: 17
Reply with quote  #2 
OH MY GOD!

you are exactly like me! well, i dont work at a gasoline station, but i did have a problem sniffing gasoline and everytime i saw the word gasoline, i couldnt help but write it everywhere and say it all the time because i loved the word. i am also forced to be around gasoline alot bc i spend alot of time in my garage, just as you are forced to be around permanent markers alot. i really feel for you and its like i finally found someone who understands me. its wierd how just looking at the word makes me feel so good, but im glad im not the only one who does that. if you look at some of my previous posts, you'll see the word gasoline written like 30 times in a row, just to get it out of my system. i think you can stop if you really want to. i know how it feels to be high, and yes, it was an amazing feeling and i'd love to do it again, but the fact that im risking my life makes me stop. ive been gasoline free for one month and one day now and i want to help you do the same. you can break free of this addiction.

right now, your mind is playing games with you. i remember when i was quitting, i was trying to tell myself to give myself a small sniffing "reward" every week. but you just have to ignore it. dont give in to your thoughts.

and you have no idea how lucky you are to work at the factory. i love the way permanent markers smell too.

stay strong.
keep trying.
i know you can do it.

g a s o l i n e .
lolfreddy

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Posts: 8
Reply with quote  #3 
I can't stop! the longest I can go without huffing markers is half a day... I get really bad headaches and cravings, life doesn't seem fun or interesting unless i can get my daily high off of these sticks...

I hate having to go to work and seeing all these markers everywhere... I must have them all, i want more and more! I like the feel when i open a fresh one and I especially love the smell.

I can't stop, i dont think my body can handle it, i need more. I think they are getting suspicious at work because we had a meeting and they brought this up that a few of the cases were gone missing, and if anyone knew anything then to please report it...

I mean Who would still markers right? Well me of course...

It rained yesterday and the soil where i buried all of my permanent markers is mushy and soft... all the markers are surfacing and it is an overwhelming amount... im about to burm them and melt the plastic, i cant bear to see all these it scares me...

I don't know what to do anymore...

tryingtostop

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Posts: 17
Reply with quote  #4 
i know how that feels. just looking at cars and knowing that they are filled with gasoline just tempts me so much, but i believe you can do it. like honestly, this should be easier for you than it was for me. im 14 and stupid. you are alot smarter than me and if i can do it, you sure can. the first week is difficult, because you need to get it out of your system, but after that its okay.

since the evidence is resurfacing (literally) that should prompt you to take action and stop now. you cant hide these skeletons, or cases, forever. the people at work will find out, its only a matter of time...so be smart and stop now.

keep trying and know that i believe in you.

i check this post every day just to see your prognosis, so im rooting for you.
jannazuber

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Posts: 44
Reply with quote  #5 
lol,

3 cheers to tryingtostop for all the good advice and support.  Just the fact that you come to this sight is a good step in the right direction.  Have you gone through and read everything on the message board and the sight?  Are you really aware that each time you pass out, there is that chance that you might not wake up in this life here?  Have you read about the long term health issues involved with this abuse?  Your family and friends may not know about it now, but would you rather them find out after you have been fired for stealing, or worse, dead?

You are over 18.  You can go to a doctor to get advice/guidance and it is required by law to be confidential.  Consider a new job that will not be tempting you to abuse all the time.  Go to the library and check out material on breaking addictions.  Try an AA meeting....

I wish our son had come to us for help.  Yes we would have been initially upset, but we would have tried to help him.  And I bet your parents would want to help you as well.  Have them go to this web site and read for themselves about inhalant abuse.  If you had a broken leg they would take you to a doctor.

Realize that every time you inhale those poisons it is taking a gun to your head with only a few bullets missing and pulling the trigger.  Are you really ready to die?  I don't think so.  Just take it one day at a time. You can do it!

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janna d zuber
lolfreddy

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Posts: 8
Reply with quote  #6 
Okay so yesterday Saturday was my day off. I cleared up all boxes from my home, i threw out all the permanent markers i had lying around and i collected all the empty markers from my backyard, bagged them in black trash bags and dumped them in a Dumpster on the other side of town, complete opposite of where work is.

I did not huff once, i have a killer headache... I keep craving them and I can't get them out of my head. I can't quit work because i need the income so I'm trying to just stop and forget about it.

I went online and started to read about how inhalants affect your body and how dangerous it trully is, i know we heard this a million times already but i got scared too. I want to be able to work and live my life, seriously...

So they're still on my mind and I can feel the Withdrawal effects... I'm trying my hardest here I just wanna reward myself with one little sniff but i dont have anything in the house to do so! I think im gonna go play some World Of Warcraft and get my mind off of it...
QueshiaB

Moderator
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Posts: 676
Reply with quote  #7 
lolfreddy-  So far so good!  Like you said on you other post keeping using W.O.W or any other thing you find that keeps you from thinking about sniffing is good.  However, you should check out other resources (i.e. counseling groups, addiction services, etc.)

Thanks for posting and please know we in this online community are routing for you!  

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Queshia B
ACE
tryingtostop

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Posts: 17
Reply with quote  #8 

yeah i get what your saying. you feel like you want to reward yourself with one little sniff, but it totally defeats the purpose of quitting. keep trying. its great that you got rid of all the permanent markers in your house. unfortunatly, its not so easy to get rid of the gasoline in my house or then id be mowing the lawn with a pair of scissors. oh well. keep trying, youre doing great so far!!

jannazuber

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Posts: 44
Reply with quote  #9 

lol - You can do it!  I do agree with the moderators suggestions if you can.  Remember, one day at a time.  You might also want to consider journaling. Just writing whatever comes into your head can be so helpful. But do start with a list of reasons why YOU want to be free of this addiction.  You might also consider writing 2 obituaries:  1. about yourself if you do not give up inhalants, and no.2 about yourself living to a wonderful age of hmmmm, how about 91?  Do include in that one all the dreams that you hope to fulfill in your life here on earth.  Then whenever you are tempted pull those obits out and read them over.  Did you read tryingtostop's list of helpful hints? Exercise is also really important...  there are so many of us rooting for you!  Keep us posted, we care!


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janna d zuber
lolfreddy

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Posts: 8
Reply with quote  #10 
Almost a week without touching a marker to my face. This may sound weird but I have one in my pocket right now. I like the way it feels there but i dont use it, its bran new un-opened. And I plan to keep it that way unless i need to write something with it.

I've been playing a lot of video games on my spare time and Riding my bike outside when the weather permits. I'm sure I can do this, it feels better to be clean than to be high and dumb.

Let's see how long i can go with this

jannazuber

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Posts: 44
Reply with quote  #11 
lol-

You have made my week!!!  What great news - keep us posted!  So very glad for you!

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janna d zuber
Creighton

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Posts: 32
Reply with quote  #12 
lolfreddy,

You are awesome!!  Congratulations and keep at it--we're all here pulling for you!


tryingtostop

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Posts: 17
Reply with quote  #13 

Great job!! Keep at it!

workingtowardlove

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Posts: 1
Reply with quote  #14 
lol

So good to hear you are taking better care of yourself.

Hope you are trying to find another work environment. Being aroung your drug of addiction is a constant trigger and more punishment than you deserve.

Loving yourself is the best tool you can have in your toolbox of life.

Keep taking care of yourself and please try to find someone to talk to about this. Don't keep trying to do it alone.

Let us hear from you. We are a good resource.
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