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Inhalant Abuse Prevention
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kwelker77

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Reply with quote  #1 
I've been a lurker here, reading posts from people like me but just finally opened an account. I'm in freefall at the moment, everything is falling apart. I'm was prone to inhaling in college, nail polish remover, alcohol and solvents. In my teens I started with whip cream cans at parties. Today, I am on the verge of losing the career I love, at a job I just started and my family. My husband and I are separating. We have one child. I am desperate. I'm about to lose everything. I've never felt suicidal, but today I do. I wouldn't but I'm hopeless.

Never in my life had I used at work, I'm a teacher at a private school. With little kids, I'm sickened with myself. I usually did something on the way out the dooor before catching, I also keep acetone and rubbing alcohol in the car. The past few weeks has had me in the bathroom at work with a mini bottle of alcohol I keep in my desk.

People have been asking me for weeks what is wrong, I'm clashing with co-workers, not understanding what people are saying and my mind is fogged. I stopped for a few days and I'm not going back to myself. I'm very scared that there is no turning back from here. My family knows, I have put them through hell. I know that my kids and my colleagues are wondering as well. Has this happened to any of you? I've always returned back to "normal" but this is no longer the case.

I'm prone to writing long winded in everything I write. I'm going leave it here. I'm just hoping to connect with someone who understands. Guess I'm just looking to vent somewhere. I've burnt all my bridges in my personal life and am feeling lost.  


heartbroken

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Posts: 25
Reply with quote  #2 
kwelker,

Please get help.  Get a sponsor, go to meetings, rehab etc.  My ex's huffing addiction has ruined my family.  It does not matter why you do it, just do it before it's too late!  One day @ a time, you can succeed!
serenityNow

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Posts: 11
Reply with quote  #3 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwelker77
I've been a lurker here, reading posts from people like me but just finally opened an account. I'm in freefall at the moment, everything is falling apart. I'm was prone to inhaling in college, nail polish remover, alcohol and solvents. In my teens I started with whip cream cans at parties. Today, I am on the verge of losing the career I love, at a job I just started and my family. My husband and I are separating. We have one child. I am desperate. I'm about to lose everything. I've never felt suicidal, but today I do. I wouldn't but I'm hopeless.

Never in my life had I used at work, I'm a teacher at a private school. With little kids, I'm sickened with myself. I usually did something on the way out the dooor before catching, I also keep acetone and rubbing alcohol in the car. The past few weeks has had me in the bathroom at work with a mini bottle of alcohol I keep in my desk.

People have been asking me for weeks what is wrong, I'm clashing with co-workers, not understanding what people are saying and my mind is fogged. I stopped for a few days and I'm not going back to myself. I'm very scared that there is no turning back from here. My family knows, I have put them through hell. I know that my kids and my colleagues are wondering as well. Has this happened to any of you? I've always returned back to "normal" but this is no longer the case.

I'm prone to writing long winded in everything I write. I'm going leave it here. I'm just hoping to connect with someone who understands. Guess I'm just looking to vent somewhere. I've burnt all my bridges in my personal life and am feeling lost.  


serenityNow

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Posts: 11
Reply with quote  #4 

i know right where you are.my friend...been there a few times...it hurts...its unreal...a nightmare. Now is the time to welcome in positive change. You have to be broken to be repaired. All starts with.placing in God hands...then show the strength he'll provide you to lift yourself up and rise into peace. You are still alive kiddo..that's a big plus...and you accept that you have problem. That's a major step too.... if we all keep screwing up this thing called life....it's time.for change. Why not.give God a chance...wittness the mircle of his comfort. Afterall, he has.been here all along and knows you are in pain and suffering.There are no problems that can't be fixed...only solutions. He has mended me so many times..i ask why me? What did i ever do to deserve.his blessings when so many good people i have known who deserve.it more have passed away...yet i remain standing. In time all things will be revealed..just stay on course in your search for.peace and forgivness by.forgiving yourselve. God all ready redeamed you....:-)
serenityNow

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Posts: 11
Reply with quote  #5 
Quote:
Originally Posted by serenityNow
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwelker77
I've been a lurker here, reading posts from people like me but just finally opened an account. I'm in freefall at the moment, everything is falling apart. I'm was prone to inhaling in college, nail polish remover, alcohol and solvents. In my teens I started with whip cream cans at parties. Today, I am on the verge of losing the career I love, at a job I just started and my family. My husband and I are separating. We have one child. I am desperate. I'm about to lose everything. I've never felt suicidal, but today I do. I wouldn't but I'm hopeless.

Never in my life had I used at work, I'm a teacher at a private school. With little kids, I'm sickened with myself. I usually did something on the way out the dooor before catching, I also keep acetone and rubbing alcohol in the car. The past few weeks has had me in the bathroom at work with a mini bottle of alcohol I keep in my desk.

People have been asking me for weeks what is wrong, I'm clashing with co-workers, not understanding what people are saying and my mind is fogged. I stopped for a few days and I'm not going back to myself. I'm very scared that there is no turning back from here. My family knows, I have put them through hell. I know that my kids and my colleagues are wondering as well. Has this happened to any of you? I've always returned back to "normal" but this is no longer the case.

I'm prone to writing long winded in everything I write. I'm going leave it here. I'm just hoping to connect with someone who understands. Guess I'm just looking to vent somewhere. I've burnt all my bridges in my personal life and am feeling lost.  


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Better Than I Used To Be (lyrics on screen)Tim Mc…:
CeciliaRaul

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Posts: 14
Reply with quote  #6 
My heart honestly breaks the more I read the different cases of brain damage due to inhalants[frown]
I can relate and I can say I know exactly what your going through ..
When I was about 12 years old I discovered I could get a high from the computer cleaner .i didn't like it much but I did like the high it have me! Soon after that I discovered I could get the same high using Air Wick! I did that on and off for about a year ! Not knowing so not fearing the consequences it would permanently leave ...It compleatly changed my life and not at all for the good .. My life changed around the age of 15 ..I remember sitting in front of a church with a friend and feeling a blow to my head . .after that my life would never be the same as before ..I felt as if I entered another world . Still having contuse I knew I was in the wrong for the bad I had done using Air Wick I was now forced to live in my own world(At least that's how it felt) .. Being scared to come out to my family I kept it to myself ! I was so scared and so lost yet I refused to let anyone know ..I went on with my life even with all this .i met the father of my son now he's 4 ! Very domestic relationship but for the first time I came out about my problem .To my surprise he just thought I was crazy craving attention! 3 years of that bit a huge blessing came when I met my now fiance Raul .. Afraid to speak out I kept it away from him till about 10 months ago I realized he was different and loved me and my son dearly so I chose to come out and tell him ..And now he's my biggest support system. I let him know this ....'' I'm not normal I'm different I don't see this life the way you see it I feel like I'm in my own world ..as normal as I may act I feel so lost ..My memory is bad and only getting worst ..being3 months pregnant with my now 3 month old baby boy . We chose to wait to look for answers .. Now being in so much pain I chose to go to the ER maybe they'll have answers right ?? They did a Catscan and they came out normal .i was so hurt by the results because I knew I was far from normal ..so come to find out what I need is an MRI which I'll be getting November 11.. Having such a beautiful family I was still not happy all I can think about is how I would be better off dead than suffering the way I suffer but I refuse to give up ! I will search for answers and become an example for many young kids who take drugs and inhalants as a joke .. Although I will never have my old life back I will make my new one worth living for ! I will search for answers even if it takes me looking under rocks ! But if anyone with the same problem has found something that has helped with their brain damage even HBOT ?? Please let me know ... Thank you
ozov10

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Posts: 1
Reply with quote  #7 
it is the best in 2015, thanks
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Curt28

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Posts: 7
Reply with quote  #8 
Hi kwelker77.. How are you doing? hope you're doing fine. If you still need help there are better place with recovery services that can guide you anytime. Be strong! 
Scott90

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Posts: 13
Reply with quote  #9 

Hi kwelker, how are you now? Have you tried to consult to some addiction rehab centers? They might help you with your problem. I think it’s better if you will contact an expert when it comes to this, they know what you should do. Here in Texas, there are also people who suffer from addiction, like the way you do, but there are also a lot of good expert/consultant that help them to recover. Please don’t hesitate to get help before it’s too late. Always be strong, you can win this battle. Looking forward that your next post will be about your recovery. God bless you.


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Manid

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Posts: 6
Reply with quote  #10 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CeciliaRaul
My heart honestly breaks the more I read the different cases of brain damage due to inhalants[frown]
I can relate and I can say I know exactly what your going through ..
When I was about 12 years old I discovered I could get a high from the computer cleaner .i didn't like it much but I did like the high it have me! Soon after that I discovered I could get the same high using Air Wick! I did that on and off for about a year ! Not knowing so not fearing the consequences it would permanently leave ...It compleatly changed my life and not at all for the good .. My life changed around the age of 15 ..I remember sitting in front of a church with a friend and feeling a blow to my head . .after that my life would never be the same as before ..I felt as if I entered another world . Still having contuse I knew I was in the wrong for the bad I had done using Air Wick I was now forced to live in my own world(At least that's how it felt) .. Being scared to come out to my family I kept it to myself ! I was so scared and so lost yet I refused to let anyone know ..I went on with my life even with all this .i met the father of my son now he's 4 ! Very domestic relationship but for the first time I came out about my problem .To my surprise he just thought I was crazy craving attention! 3 years of that bit a huge blessing came when I met my now fiance Raul .. Afraid to speak out I kept it away from him till about 10 months ago I realized he was different and loved me and my son dearly so I chose to come out and tell him ..And now he's my biggest support system. I let him know this ....'' I'm not normal I'm different I don't see this life the way you see it I feel like I'm in my own world ..as normal as I may act I feel so lost ..My memory is bad and only getting worst ..being3 months pregnant with my now 3 month old baby boy . We chose to wait to look for answers .. Now being in so much pain I chose to go to the ER maybe they'll have answers right ?? They did a Catscan and they came out normal .i was so hurt by the results because I knew I was far from normal ..so come to find out what I need is an MRI which I'll be getting November 11.. Having such a beautiful family I was still not happy all I can think about is how I would be better off dead than suffering the way I suffer but I refuse to give up ! I will search for answers and become an example for many young kids who take drugs and inhalants as a joke .. Although I will never have my old life back I will make my new one worth living for ! I will search for answers even if it takes me looking under rocks ! But if anyone with the same problem has found something that has helped with their brain damage even HBOT ?? Please let me know ... Thank you


Hey, Cecilia! It's hard to describe what I'm feeling right now. Your story is so similar to mine. It may be hard to believe, but I had exactly the same blow to my head at the age of 15 which completely changed my life. That blow transformed a happy, careless child into a self-hating, emotionally numb zombie-like creature. I wish I could go back and change things. I wish my friends and I had never discovered these disgusting substances, namely glue and benzine. We had fun huffing them and didn't realize this seemingly innocuous pastime could make our lives living hell. I don't remember much from this period of my life. It's all in the fog.
I know for sure that I had been huffing glue for several years, before I almost died from overdose and stopped doing it once and for all. This extremely unhealthy habit damaged my brain a lot. Now I have a very poor memory, I'm always absentminded and easily overstimulated by insignificant things. I can list the symptoms for a very long time. It's a nightmare.
Unfortunately, I haven't been able yet to find any medications or therapy to alleviate my condition, but I'm actively looking for it. That's why I registered on this messageboard.
Anyways, I'm happy you figured out a way to start a family. It gives me hope, thank you.
Please PM me here or send a letter to manid@list.ru. If anyone could relate to my story, don't hesitate to write, I'd be very grateful to have a nice conversation with people struggling to overcome their toxic past.

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mada3aw

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Posts: 3
Reply with quote  #11 
do you still need help kwelker77
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alicetaylor

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Posts: 2
Reply with quote  #12 
I would like to thank you for your nicely written post

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janesmith

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Posts: 581
Reply with quote  #13 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwelker77
I've been a lurker here, reading posts from people like me but just finally opened an account. I'm in freefall at the moment, everything is falling apart. I'm was prone to inhaling in college, nail polish remover, alcohol and solvents. In my teens I started with whip cream cans at parties. Today, I am on the verge of losing the career I love, at a job I just started and my family. My husband and I are separating. We have one child. I am desperate. I'm about to lose everything. I've never felt suicidal, but today I do. I wouldn't but I'm hopeless.

Never in my life had I used at work, I'm a teacher at a private school. With little kids, I'm sickened with myself. I usually did something on the way out the dooor before catching, I also keep acetone and rubbing alcohol in the car. The past few weeks has had me in the bathroom at work with a mini bottle of alcohol I keep in my desk.

People have been asking me for weeks what is wrong, I'm clashing with co-workers, not understanding what people are saying and my mind is fogged. I stopped for a few days and I'm not going back to myself. I'm very scared that there is no turning back from here. My family knows, I have put them through hell. I know that my kids and my colleagues are wondering as well. Has this happened to any of you? I've always returned back to "normal" but this is no longer the case.

I'm prone to writing long winded in everything I write. I'm going leave it here. I'm just hoping to connect with someone who understands. Guess I'm just looking to vent somewhere. I've burnt all my bridges in my personal life and am feeling lost.  




kwelker77 - I'm wondering how you're doing these days, too.  Have you since gotten outside professional help, or at least participate in a some type of program of recovery, such as a 12-step Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) program?  Just an fyi that free AA meetings are available throughout the nation and world.  The only requirement is having a desire to get sober.  One may attend an "open" AA meeting if there is no drinking problem.

The following website should have some local counseling and treatment programs for those with substance abuse and/or mental health issues, and a counseling facility may also have a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor (CADC) or Certified Addiction Counselor (CAC).  Please keep in mind, however, that "getting into recovery" is ultimately the decision of the addict, and one should ideally be proactive in therapy:

https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/  and can type one's zip code or state of residence into search.

Their toll-free 24/7 ** referral ** hotline:

1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Please do NOT end your life, either!!

** Here is a toll-free 24/7 helpline for those who are feeling suicidal to call:

1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To search for AA meetings, here is their website:

http://www.aa.org/

This website has some common mottos pertaining to those 12-step programs, such as "One day at a time," "First things first," and "People, places and things":

http://www.royy.com/toolsofrecovery.html

Hoping that you're taking good care of yourself and making wise decisions.
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